Under No Obligation

Matty Jorgensen approached the couple perusing the samples in kitchen showroom. He straightened his tie, and adjusted his cuff-links, before giving them his most charming smile. 

‘Morning, guys. How are we doing? What can we do for you today?’ He asked.

Matty was the company’s top sales person. None of the others even came close. What a lot of people didn’t realise was that Matty wasn’t selling a kitchen, he wasn’t selling a fridge-freezer, or matching cupboards. He was selling a dream.

He was selling the dream of having that lifestyle where your family still dined at the kitchen table, where you have a glass of fine wine at the kitchen island, where you host swanky dinner parties cooked to perfection in your new Aga cooker. That was what he was selling.

Okay, so the reality didn’t always live up to the dream, but that wasn’t his fault. He would get complaints, sure, but by that point, Matty was chasing the next sale. 

He was showing the couple out of the showroom, having completed the sale, when his work mobile phone rang. He answered the call asking how he could help.

‘This is Alan Bennett. I’m calling to complain about the kitchen you fitted.’ 

Matty rolled his eyes. It was one of those calls. He sighed and forced on his chirpy yet forceful tone. 

‘Hello there, and what seems to be the problem?’ He asked.

‘Well, they’ve ripped my old kitchen out.’

‘Yes, and?’

‘And I’m still waiting for them to fit the new kitchen. It’s been weeks.’ Alan said.

‘The parts are on order, Mr Bennett. I’m afraid you’ll just have to bear with us.’ Matty said.

‘Bear with you? It’s been weeks! And I just get fobbed off whenever I ring up.’ 

‘I hardly thing you’ve been fobbed off, but these things take time.’ Matty insisted.

‘You lot just won’t give me a straight answer. When are you going to sort this sorry mess out?’ 

‘Let me stop you right there. Sorry mess? I beg your pardon, Mr Bennett.’ Matty snapped.

Another voice came on the phone. She spoke more calmly than Mr Bennett.

‘Why on earth would you rip out the old kitchen before you had the parts? You’ve left him with no way to cook.’ She insisted.

Matty didn’t know if the person he was speaking to was Alan’s wife, daughter or niece but he knew one thing, he wasn’t letting either of them get one over on him.

‘Have you tried moving the kettle and microwave to another room? It’s not rocket science, love.’ He said, not hiding the condescension and sarcasm from his voice.

‘Excuse me.’ She said. ‘There’s really no need for the tone.’

‘Look, as I say, the parts are on order.’ He said.

‘And that’s it? We’re supposed to just wait indefinitely? That’s all you’ve got to say for yourself?’ She asked.

‘Have a nice life, yeah?!’ Matty snapped before hanging up the phone.

Honestly, who did people think they were speaking to?

He was a top sales guy, his job was to sell, sell, sell. He couldn’t be held responsible for the actual details. Were they really expecting him to spend his valuable time chasing up their order? Stuff that, he was onto the next sale, and the next. 

The following evening, he was dining out with his girlfriend. As the waiter showed them to their table, Lucy whispered that she was amazed he had managed to get a reservation in the fancy restaurant.

‘This place is booked up for months and months.’ She said. ‘My friends are all so jealous that we’re going.’

‘It’s all about who you know.’ He said, with a grin. 

They had been going out a few months. He really liked her and sensed she felt the same. It was going really well. He had a feeling she could be the one. He looked up from the menu, and asked if she would like to share a bottle of Prosecco. 

As they were leaving the restaurant, she linked her arm into his.

‘Do you fancy a bit of Sunday lunch somewhere at weekend?’ She asked.

‘That’d be really nice.’ He said.

‘There’s a cracking little pub near where I live. We could pop and say hi to my dad on the way, how’s that sound?’ Lucy asked.

‘Meeting the family. Wow, yeah. I’m up for that.’ Matty said. 

That was the next big step. Once you’d met the family, and were on first name terms with the in-laws there was no stopping you. He’d have to play a blinder on Sunday. He’d have to be extra charming and really up his game. He had always found the girlfriend’s dads tough nuts to crack. The mothers he could flirt and charm and sweet-talk. The fathers usually stood for no messing, and often called him out on his smooth talk and tall tales. 

Matty tried to swallow back the nerves as they walked up the front path to her father’s house. It would be fine, he was sure. 

‘I can’t believe I’m finally meeting the family.’ He said.

Lucy unlocked the front door and showed him into the hallway.

‘You’ll have to bear with my dad. He’s not in a good place at the moment.’ She said.

‘Oh really? Why’s that?’ Matty asked.

‘He’s having problems with the kitchen. The salesman at the kitchen place is a right piece of work.’ She said. 

Matty felt sick. Before Matty could reply, she took his hand and ushered him into the living room. 

Her father stood from his armchair as they entered. The smile faded from his face as he looked at the man standing next to his daughter.

‘What’s he doing here?’ Her father snapped.

‘This is Matty, he’s my boyfriend.’ Lucy said.

Her father crossed the room in quick angry steps. He stared at Matty, but spoke to his daughter.

‘This is the toe-rag who sold me that kitchen. The kitchen that I’m still waiting for.’

Matty forced a confident smile on his face.

‘I think there’s been a bit of crossed-wires somewhere.’ Matty said.

‘Get him out of my house.’ Alan said, refusing to even address Matty. 

As Lucy was showing him to the door, she stared at him as though seeing him for the first time. 

‘It was you I was speaking to on the phone last week, wasn’t it?’ He asked.

She nodded, then spoke.

‘You said you were in sales, that was all. I had no idea.’ Lucy said. 

‘I can fix this. I’ll call the warehouse and the fitters first thing in the morning.’ Matty said.

‘Dad’s in touch with his solicitors. They are saying they can sort the kitchen out and get him a large compensation pay-out.’ 

‘Can I see you again?’ He asked. ‘Let me make it up to you. I’ll talk your dad round. I’ll work the old Matty magic.’ 

Before she closed the door in his face, she spoke.

‘Have a nice life, yeah?!’

By Chris Platt